How Healthy is Your Inner Circle?

Inner circle building

Your inner circle is a reflection of who you’re

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with“. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn is famed for this saying…

Which has over the years been echoed by many influential world leaders, including John C. Maxwell.

In fact, this is the very tenet of one of Maxwell’s 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: The Law of  Inner Circle, which states that a leader’s potential is determined by those closest to him or her…

And it also ties in closely with his Law of Magnetism, which avers that who you are is who you attract. In other words, in most situations, you draw people to you who possess the same qualities, values, and priorities as you do.

These concepts apply to the success and significance in every domain of your life–be it getting fit and keeping in tip-top shape, mental, physical, psychological, and spiritual renewal.

In other words, if you want to experience phenomenal success and make a real profound impact, you need to surround yourself with great people who can bring out the best in you and help you unlock your full potential, and vice versa.

To achieve that, you need to relate well with people and respect them for what they are…

And this requires you to routinely endeavor to do the following:

  • Valuing people everyday— you see, you can’t look down upon others and purport to build them up at the same time. Recognize people publicly, compliment them, and cultivate the attitude of gratitude. Remember, the more you think, the more you’d thank.

Making yourself more valuable to others–the quickest way to improve any relationship is to make yourself better so you have more to share with others.

Practising empathy–putting yourself into someone else’s world and seeing life through their lenses. Albert Einstein is credited with saying, “A person starts to live when he can live outside himself“.

Often, the best thing we can do for someone else is to recognize when they’re in a time of need and being there for them.

  • Focusing more on giving than receiving— to forge and foster great relationships, you have to want more for people than you want from them. Blessed are those who give without remembering, but receive without forgetting!
  • Being a consistent friend–place a high premium on your relationships and be the most dependable person ever. Believe the best of people and love them unconditionally.
  • Creating great memories for people–wherever you’re, be there in your entirety. No matter how big or small the moments may seem to you, you can make them special for others by being present and intentional with your time, thoughts, actions, and resources.
  • Moving towards the kinds of relationships you desire–put yourself in position to meet and spend time with the kind of people who share your values, beliefs,  and priorities, as well as thinking positively.

As Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness–the authors of Peak Performance so eloquently stated, “Working to build a better self almost always means working to build a better community”.

Simply put, emotions,  thoughts, and habits are contagious. You were made for relationships. We are social beings first and we need other people to realize our full potential.

Place a premium on loving people unconditionally; seek to add value to their lives, and as you do, your life will definitely change for the better.

Remember the Law of Harvest: You reap what you sow, and in multiples.

And there you have it!

Go forth and re-examine your inner circle–does it  comprise the right people? People who are mutually reinforcing; people who are there for you when they’d rather be somewhere else?

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companionship of fools shall be destroyed–Proverbs 13:20

Choose your friends and associates wisely.

Share the good piece widely.

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your friends, health, and progress

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Your best friends are those who bring it out the best in you. You’re better, not worse, after you’ve been around them.

If you run with wolves, you’ll learn how to howl, but if you associate with eagles, you’ll learn how to soar to the heavens…

And any time you indulge mediocrity in others, you water and fertilize your own mediocrity…and you can be sure it will grow!

Motivation speaker Jim Rohn famously said, “You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with“.

The truth in this adage is simply timeless–it has staying power!

Are the people you associate with most positive-minded, encouraging, and supportive? Do they energize and inspire you to be your best? Do they share similar values and goals? Do they listen to you and empathise with you? Are they there for you through thick and thin? Do they give you a genuine pat on the back for your accomplishments?

Do they hold you accountable and point out your self-sabotaging tendencies?

Or, is your inner circle more likely negative, pessimistic, and defeatist? Are they energy vampires that hold you back? Do their priorities conflict with your own?

Do they expect you to listen to them without reciprocating? Are they fair-weathered? Do they badmouth others, you included?

Are they jealous of your achievements? Are they judgmental? Do they make cutting remarks about others, and deliberately try to bring them down?

The above questions paint a picture for you…

And I think you’re getting the point!

If you want to live a healthy, happy, successful, and fulfilling life, it’s imperative that you surround yourself with positive, like-minded people–commonly referred to as positive social support.

And make no mistake…

Positive social support is exceptionally important for good physical and mental health. It can enhance your resilience from stress, increase longevity and quality of life, reduce levels of inflammation, boost immunity, promote healthy weight management, improve mood, enhance self-esteem, vitality, sense of belonging, encourage kindness and empathy for others, lead to greater levels of trust and openness, and ultimately lead to positive behavioral changes.

Positive social support is a linchpin for making healthy changes in every domain of your life…

Not to mention how it allows you to create wonderful shared memories.

So, who makes up your inner circle? Is it time to make some tough decisions and overhaul your inner circle? Be the judge.

And what a great way to guide you when this saying kicks in: “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future“.

Take a moment right now and think about the people you spend most of your time with. Who are they? Do they push you outside of your comfort zone, lift you up and lead you towards growth?

Or, do they pull you down, hold you back, deflate you, and allow you to get away with excuses?

Friend, it’s time to stop and seriously evaluate your friendships…

Because if you want to move to the next level in any domain in life–be it business, wellness, happiness, faith, parenting–you must of necessity surround yourself with people who are doing better than you in that specific area.

If you struggle with your faith and surround yourself with people of greater faith, yours will blossom.

If you want to up your business game, start hanging out with people who are making significantly more money than you…and over time, you’ll be there!

If you want to be in tip-top shape, spend more time with people who are fitter than you.

And if you struggle with relationships, make it a point to immerse yourself among people with great marriages…and in the fullness of time, yours will bloom.


Make no excuses!

It’s totally within your power and control to choose your friends and associates.

Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch–sometimes they hold you up; other times they lean on you…

And sometimes it’s just enough to know they’re standing by!

The bottom line is…

Who you choose to be your closest friends is one of the most important decisions you’ll make in your life!

Allow me not to belabor the point…

Go forth and choose wisely.

If you like this piece…don’t hold back. Nudge your friends and loved ones to open their eyes and see far, not look! Share widely.

I cannot thank you enough for finding my content worth your while.

Stay tuned…