“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with“. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn is famed for this saying…
Which has over the years been echoed by many influential world leaders, including John C. Maxwell.
In fact, this is the very tenet of one of Maxwell’s 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: The Law of Inner Circle, which states that a leader’s potential is determined by those closest to him or her…
And it also ties in closely with his Law of Magnetism, which avers that who you are is who you attract. In other words, in most situations, you draw people to you who possess the same qualities, values, and priorities as you do.
These concepts apply to the success and significance in every domain of your life–be it getting fit and keeping in tip-top shape, mental, physical, psychological, and spiritual renewal.
In other words, if you want to experience phenomenal success and make a real profound impact, you need to surround yourself with great people who can bring out the best in you and help you unlock your full potential, and vice versa.
To achieve that, you need to relate well with people and respect them for what they are…
And this requires you to routinely endeavor to do the following:
- Valuing people everyday— you see, you can’t look down upon others and purport to build them up at the same time. Recognize people publicly, compliment them, and cultivate the attitude of gratitude. Remember, the more you think, the more you’d thank.
Making yourself more valuable to others–the quickest way to improve any relationship is to make yourself better so you have more to share with others.
Practising empathy–putting yourself into someone else’s world and seeing life through their lenses. Albert Einstein is credited with saying, “A person starts to live when he can live outside himself“.
Often, the best thing we can do for someone else is to recognize when they’re in a time of need and being there for them.
- Focusing more on giving than receiving— to forge and foster great relationships, you have to want more for people than you want from them. Blessed are those who give without remembering, but receive without forgetting!
- Being a consistent friend–place a high premium on your relationships and be the most dependable person ever. Believe the best of people and love them unconditionally.
- Creating great memories for people–wherever you’re, be there in your entirety. No matter how big or small the moments may seem to you, you can make them special for others by being present and intentional with your time, thoughts, actions, and resources.
- Moving towards the kinds of relationships you desire–put yourself in position to meet and spend time with the kind of people who share your values, beliefs, and priorities, as well as thinking positively.
As Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness–the authors of Peak Performance so eloquently stated, “Working to build a better self almost always means working to build a better community”.
Simply put, emotions, thoughts, and habits are contagious. You were made for relationships. We are social beings first and we need other people to realize our full potential.
Place a premium on loving people unconditionally; seek to add value to their lives, and as you do, your life will definitely change for the better.
Remember the Law of Harvest: You reap what you sow, and in multiples.
And there you have it!
Go forth and re-examine your inner circle–does it comprise the right people? People who are mutually reinforcing; people who are there for you when they’d rather be somewhere else?
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companionship of fools shall be destroyed–Proverbs 13:20
Choose your friends and associates wisely.
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